PLAYOFFS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOLPHINS DOLPHINS DOLPHINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eat it JETS and eat it PATRIOTS. It was a good fight, but going from 1-15 to 11-5 and winning the division... seriously. awesome. It's not embarrassing to be a fan anymore and I get to actually wear my jersey during a game this season. If it ever comes in the mail that is. That is all I have to say. I am super excited!! YAY!

it's christmas time at the durkin's

I'll post, because I haven't in a while and I'm sure Claudia is really missing the blog :-P. It frankly did NOT feel like Christmas at all this year. I mean, the house was decorated and all, but I just didn't feel the spirit, no matter where I went. Except during the Holiday extravaganza/powerhour at Penner. It kind of just felt like I went through the motions, without all the excitement. Probably has something to do with this is the first time I'm really feeling and seeing the recession in action. I didn't even get the only gift I really wanted... well I did, just not yet. In the cruel irony that rules my life, my Ronnie Brown jersey is somewhere in Connecticut, because the retards at Fed Ex routed a whole truck wrong and it went to Willington... yes, Willington. Cool. would be nice if I actually was in CT. So now I don't have my jersey for the big game tomorrow, I feel like this is a bad omen. Otherwise, Christmas went ok actually. Grandma didn't leave in the middle of dinner crying like last year. No one got in a fight. And everyone seemed to get what they wanted. Little bro got his video games, I got a GPS so now I one more gadget in the car to provoke an accident and Meesta Durks got his welder and toaster that he bough himself, and his court date in the mail. MERRY CHRISTMAS! All in all, I'd say the Holiday went fairly well. Next hurrah: New Years. Sounds like my plans are a mess right now, and I have done nothing to alter that. I'm letting people who are in the same region take care of that one. I'll deal with my options on... I don't know, the 30th perhaps. I'm not a planner so no use in starting now.

I tried to buy everyone souvenirs today, but everything in Daytona was sooo unbelievably tacky that they weren't even funny gifts. They were just sad. So I didn't get any. Instead, I went on a romantic date with my brother to play mini golf. And he beat me. And showed me how cool he was cause he got us in for free since "his buddy" worked there. He also revealed to me that he's gotten so high that he's previously passed out in a friend's lawn for two hours AND gotten soo drunk that he lost 5 games of beer pong and puked. I don't know what I am more upset about. The fact that my little brother is telling me this shit when I thought he was like scared of drinking, or the fact that 5 games of beer pong were enough to make his puke everywhere. So not living up to the Durkin standards. I am tempted to get him plastered and show him how to really drink, but the little pansy doesn't drink beer. He doesn't like the taste. What is he? A freshmen girl?

Well I'm off. Time for family games... I know how this is going to end. Meesta Durks is going to suck and get mad cause he's a sore loser and stomp away to his room. I am the most responsible and mature person in my house. What a sad, sad thing.

all time low

durks, marty, claudia and i just found a website that streams the office 24/7.

but of course, in true "us" fashion, we found the chatroom feature on the side, and completely abused it. we singlehandedly ruined the night of the chat room monitor. i know this sounds completely lame, but trust me, it was funny.

hustler, you'll always have my heart.

dying

did i mention how bored i am... and that i might be losing my mind

Minutes police Durks has just banned me from talking to anyone who does not use at&t because my use has apparently tripled in the past couple months. Whatever. My 360 outside minutes has nothing on his 940. Seriously, how can he even get mad at me. So not fair. Mr. Dick McCheap ass doesn't want to go over so III have to modify my usage and only make calls to Verizon users until after 9 p.m. or weekends, then, I can go wild. WOOHOOO. Fuck my life. Maybe if he spent a little more time on his counterfeit bill business he wouldn't be counting pennies. Just saying.

for durks

i dont like blogging unless i have something to say, and home is uneventful so i dont. and i really dont think anything can top the mr durks videoblog (vlog if you will) i can regale you with snowed in at the davis house though. my day started at 7am yesterday when my mom decided to yell to the whole house that school was cancelled, sweet life. then my brother wouldnt get up to help shovel, so my dad screamed at him. on a side note, i love that the davis's are still stuck in 1950, and thus because im a girl i dont have to shovel, but my brother has had to since age 4. thanks sexism, seriously, thanks. um then i worked at the package store 2 to 6, and it was shocking how many people came in DURING THE BLIZZARD. and not to like buy bottles of wine for parties that were tonight, no, nothing of the sort. they came in and bought like half pints of brandy and were like "wow, its snowing, huh?" yeah douchebag, its snowing. i dont think your '82 ford taurus is really a safe vehicle to be driving to the package store in one of the worst blizzards we have had in years. but, i totally understand your emergency and need for a whole entire half pint. im sorry that your life sucks so bad that you will risk your life to go to the package store to get a little booze. heres to looking at you, guy. um beyond that i really have nothing to blog about except that im legit going to lose it if i have to stay snowed in for another hour. durks, lets go to cali next year, fuck it.

dear kelly, 

i am dominating the blog and i don't like it. you're snowed in. write something dammit.

that is all.

cordially,

ashley

p.s. i told you mr. durks'  skin color matched his shirts.

MERRY CHRISTMAS KELLY!!!!

After yelling at me saying that I only wanted to do this in a "derogatory" way because I probably just wanted to make fun of him, (which is true, but he doesn't need to know that) he filmed this... I actually cannot believe he agreed to do this. He even smiled. And waved. This is take like 23649326 because he didn't like that I unexpectedly sprung it on him and he wanted to do a better one. MERRY CHRISTMAS KELLY. Don't say I never gave you anything.

Love,

Me (and Meesta Durks)

Mr. Moneybags

fact: mr. durks is making counterfeit money in his office and got mad when we could immediately tell the difference. cool. yes. this IS my life.

my trip to the beach

So I escaped my house of oppression and was cruising down the A1A feeling pretty suave in my mom's red corvette on the way to the beach. Still slightly happy, I emerged from the car and walked to the crosswalk to walk on the beach. I'm not even out of the car for 2 minutes when a shitty white pick-up pulls up to a stop sign with some degenerates hanging out the windows. I knew it was coming... "SHOW ME YOUR TITTIES!" I so eloquently responded with, "fuck off" and much to my excitement the car truck behind them obliged me and joined in on the conversation to inform me what a "fucking slut" I am. I sure love Daytona. What a classy sort of town. Who knew that Daytona Beach would make my shoebox apartment and "yard" full of busch light cans and shattered class seem respectable. 

I also just made the most extraordinary realization. As my father emerged from his bedroom this evening in only his tighty whities and a beer, I suddenly discovered (while shielding my eyes and yelling) that my father is a shitty, poor man's version of the great Randy Marsh. Except fatter, a lot less funny, and not nearly as cool.

bored

I am bored and trying to distract myself from how utterly depressed. and hot I am right now.

• You know you are a nerd if you find this even kind of humorous... you know I obviously did. i 4m 4 1053R.

• If you're really really bored... here's a time killer. kinda interesting. and pretty dead on... except that it told me I'd make a great mom. note: write in cursive or it doesn't really work.

• It would take 48 cups of starbucks to kill me.


...i just thought that was funny. and sick. going to bed now. maybe.

waste

well. it is pretty much settled. i'm never going to get a good job because my gpa is garbage. maybe if i spent more time studying and going to class and less time fucking around i would go somewhere in life. here's to being a trophy wife because that is pretty much all i have left as an option. i'm broke and stupid. this is soooo becoming 'cry journal' really fast. now i can just sit here alone and sulk about my patheticness forever. speaking of being an idiot, 2 of my classes for next semester are on regional campuses. cool was i on fucking crack when i made my schedule. no more 4 day weekend, which is probably good because apparently i have to spend more time on my studies anyway or i am going to graduate with like a 1.0. going to crawl in a hole now. see ya next year when i'm homeless and alone working at the mcdonalds in willimantic.

MEESTA DURKS

For your viewing pleasure: 

For the record, Meesta Durks is short. and fat. and his skin is THAT EXACT SAME COLOR. swear.

riveting life

I havent posted in a while, finals took a lot out of me. open bar at huskies took even more out of me. i will never have an open bar at my wedding unless i want to get carried out in similiar fashion, with cell phone in hand, texting the world, bra out, and dignity even further out. cool blacking out at 9. also cool to go to teds and drink two pitchers alone at 5. sorry for driving my ass there jacks, my B.

Wow durks, I wish my first day at home was as exciting as your life in florida. If Meesta Durks hates MADE, never show him the hills, although he might find a kindred spirit in spencer? no? too close? Life in the Davis house was really exciting... we made a family field trip to the house of WASPs, aka my paternal grandparents who dont like me and blatantly give me at LEAST thirty dollars less than my cousins in my christmas card and still wrap their furniture in plastic at their Cape house during the summers when i visit. sorry that i spilled cheeto's on the couch when i was THREE. sorry i'm not sorry. so, over there we continued with the holiday spirit and decked the halls... which entailed me and my siblings running around the house hanging up ornaments on the tree while my grandfather asked me about my future and wondered aloud why i do not have a job. ROUGH. so after that, i came home, and watched tv with my sister. cool life, love christmas break when my friends arent home yet. actually i dont even know if they are home because im currently on my sisters computer since mine is broke, along with my cell phone (which thinks its really cute to shut off in the middle of use) my digital camera, and my iPod. merry christmas kelly, too bad you already spent all of your christmas present money on your spring break and all youre getting is a card with a palm tree on it.

Day Deux

Had another riveting day. I watched... three movies. Cool fucking life. Then I went for a run due to nothing better to do. Upon my first foot hitting the pavement, I suddenly remembered how much I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE running and wanted to die. It was a short run, due to hatred and the fact that I am terribly out of shape. Now I am watching movie number 4. This is really really rough. Maybe it'll be warm tomorrow so I can at least be a bronzed goddess.

Flo Rida: Day One.

My first day back at home since May. It began brilliantly at 6 am when told I had to pay $15 to check my bag, I responded with, "are you fucking kidding me." The lady kindly asked me not to speak to her that way. Well, not so kindly. Then my flight got delayed for 2 hours. Lame. I have spent my evening at home fighting with Meesta Durks about the show Made and whether or not people in reality TV are paid and that reality TV is awful and that no one would ever go on TV without getting a paycheck. Silly Meesta Durks, obviously he does not understand the vapid and shameless things people of our generation will do for attention. This inevitably turned into a HUGE debacle resulting in the remote being hid from me. I am so so happy to be home again. Only two weeks... only two... fuck that's a long time.

exams

I just had 4 exams and a 10 page paper due in two day. How did I prepare for such a trying schedule you may ask? Easy peasy. Here are some hints from the exam school of durks. Yesterday, I watched Scarlet takes a tumble like 5 times. Once in the co-op cafe while there was a black, who strikingly resembled her might I add, was sitting next to us while we cackled. I don't think she appreciated us laughing at her fallen sister. Then researched her because I wanted to know the story behind the vulnerable girl in the video. Fun fact. She's only 15 and me and Kelly have now seen it enough to sing the song. I also watched the whole version that shows the whole song and her getting up after the fall. Hilarity. I also had 3 cups of hot chocolate, which one of them almost killing my roommate from death by exploding plate that was sitting on a burner because Master Chef Durks turned the wrong one on. Oh, going out and drinking when you vowed to stay in is another CLUTCH move to make when preparing for finals. Also, if you are feeling stressed about that paper that you just spent a million hours on. My advice. Don't read it, just print it and pass it in. If you don't know the actual quality of what you handed in, you can't sit there and freak out about if you're teacher will like it because you don't even know if its good. Never has failed me. Seriously. Even Clinton Love Fest scored me a B+. I suck at school work. I mean, when I do try to prepare, or rather Kelly does, by preparing the entire essay for Propaganda class, you get slapped in the face with 10 SHORT ANSWERS on the exam THAT ARE CUMULATIVE and you had absolutely no idea. Thanks Cliffy, even your cool new classes aren't going to smooth this over. I mean really what can you do at that point. I dropped my head on my desk and laughed because exams suck cock. SO OVER THEM BUT WHO CARES CAUSE IM DOOOOOOOONE!

better than the kanye "george bush hates black people" tirade?

http://bravenewfilms.org/blog/46750-nas-on-the-colbert-report-o-reilly-is-afraid-of-me

hardest class on campus

This cartoon is one of the many that durkin and i failed to watch during our propaganda in film class. I dont know if you want to watch it, it might be over one's head.


....hoowww do we have C's in this class? Embarrassing.

maybe this will help you with your paper durks

i cant take credit for this, colin sent it to me like weeks ago. so funny. i give props to someone who can procrastinate to such an extent that they created that. good work.

Pulitzer Prize

currently writing Obama and Garbage, the long-awaited and riveting sequel to Bill Clinton Love Fest. Soon! In a trash can near you.

i dont even want to go to school with these people

read some of these if you ever think YOU are a huge loser, cause youre not. i never want to go to school with these fucking losers. im way too cool for them. who literally remembers every question in that much detail of a FIVE HOUR TEST? no, im not bitter. only a little.

top five worst christmases ever

I've had a few doozeys... if it wasn't me it'd be comical. well, it's still comical. except for the most recent one, which is still leaving me with feelings of homicide. eesh. 

Starting with the least bad and getting worse:

1. Christmas, 1991= i caused an absolute shitfit at the Wethersfield Police Department's Annual Family Christmas party. Apparently, I really wanted a minnie mouse tea set this year, or so i was told. The party was held on like... i dont remember obviously, like mid december. so my mom had already got me the tea set for actual christmas, and at the christmas party, "santa" (who was actually my dad's boss at the time.. cool) got me a barbie. nice guy, right? no, not to my four year old self, because i kicked santa's shins, called him a jerk, and proceeded to knock over the snack table on my run out of the building, knocking hot coffee all over "santa"'s wife. boy, were my parents proud. 

2. Christmas, 1994= This year,  i was seven. my younger bro was three. my house in wethersfield is on a hill where kids sled and stuff, so this year  my mom got me this like really sick toboggan. of course, i was a huge asshole at this point in my life, and still struggling with not being an only child, even though i hadnt been since i was 3 and a half cool. anyways i didnt like my brother because he was still the baby and thus got most of the attention. I put Jamie on the toboggan and pushed him down the hill, where he proceeded to run into a tree, smash his face open, and scream bloody murder. i then got all my christmas presents taken away until new years, which is a long time when youre little. AND my grandparents still like im a sociopath...it's fiiine. 

3.Christmas, 2000= this year, at the middle school december dance, my friend lisa was really cool and had a boyfriend and i had braces and was so skinny that i looked anorexic.  (thank god when i started drinking that little problem was solved) she convinced me to go to the dance with her, where the LIGHTS were on because of the newly instituted "freeze the freak" initiative (don't ask... apparently middle schoolers from wethersfield were getting too down and dirty to be allowed night dance privileges)  and everyone had their cool twisties in their hair. (can someone go back to 2000 and tell every middle school girl that 99.9% of girls look bad in white girl cornrows?) so i'm there with lisa being a wall flower and trying to dance to sisqo with her, and then brian mcknights "back at one" came on and i had no one to slow dance with, and proceeded to go get soda and like cry in the bathroom. hahaha

4. Christmas, 2004= Oooh. this was a rough one.  at this point i was really cool and was past the twisties and braces days of middle school. my friends and i were planning this sick christmas dress up party for my friend cait's birthday  to be held december 19th. we invited like half of our grade, got new dresses, made sure the boys didn't wear sweatpants. cut to me getting rejected from providence college that afternoon (its fiiiine, i can joke about it, because i reapplyed freshman year just to see if i could get in. i did, suckas.) and me showing up at the christmas party unshowered, wearing sweatpants, and pulling a classic kelly and turning it into "all about me". sorry cait, sorry i ruined your birthday party.

5. Christmas, 2008= haha, kidding! this one isnt really the worst one yet, but i really punted the lsat's today by FILLING THE SECTION THREE QUESTIONS INTO THE SECTION FOUR GRID!! it doesnt sound that bad, but if they dont accept my like pleas and begging i literally got none right for 3 of the 4 sections. but its fine, i'll find out by monday if they accepted my excuse and if not, ill cancel my score and OFF TO THE BAR i'll go. 

anyways, at least my life isnt this bad? im not 500 pounds and think i can sing? so funny.

unfair.

Unlike durks, i had SUCH a productive day. i was at the library from 11:30 til 5:30, didnt go on facebook, aim, or take a break once. are you thinking i turned over a more productive, mature leaf? no, i just discovered the magic of concerta. It is superbly awesome. I literally have never been more focused, i just wanted to do work. the fact that i saw two people that im normally reaalllyyy awkward over? didnt matter. i didnt even care, all i wanted to do was logic games and figure out what color lights were on house A if house B had green ones. (LSAT language...fucking kill me) I wish i still had adhd because i did as a kid but apparently i "dont" anymore, or else id stock up on that shit. i mean, i do feel bad for people that do have adhd because i know that it sucks since i had it (But "outgrew it") but like seriously it is a miracle drug. universities should give it out, it would definitely boost grades.

BUT what kills me is that the library is a really cool social hangout. i showed up in sweats and my little sisters wethersfield soccer '07 t shirt that i spilled bleach and god knows what else all over. but you would think we were at huskies....everyone was all jazzed out, pounds of makeup, uber tight victorias secret sweats which leave nothing to the imagination... for a minute i thought i took a wrong turn and was really at the bar. and then everyone acts all surprised when they see each other there. i heard a girl near me go "i stalked "mike's" away message, hes here! do i look cute?" and then five minutes later "oh my gosh mike! what are YOU doing here? [bitty, its finals week. who ISNT there?] i am a mess ugh! want to study for political science together?" fucking kill me. i have no respect for people who library date it or go to the library to look for dates. flirt to them on the weekends, not during finals when the rest of us want to shoot our brains out and do NOT want to hear about your next bar social night. And if you dont go to uconn, sorry for this tirade, but since claudia is our only reader she'll get this: i think it's an unwritten rule that if youre past level 2 at homer babb, you DONT TALK. if im on the third floor, i dont want to hear you laughing and flirting and being annoying.

okay back to work before the concerta wears off.

will power. let's see if i have any

I am hereby no longer blogging, or going on facebook, until both my papers are written. That is 12 pages in total. See you next year.

get me a fucking life

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

I LOVE CHRISTMAS

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

I have nothing exciting to write. I just am evading work. I did make a study guide so yay me, but I also wasted 2 hours watching October Sky, which I love... and cried a little. Also, while studying I was Perezing and it totally sucks to be a Comm major right now. Like seriously. Every broadcasting conglomerate is laying off like hundreds of employees. How will a person ever get their foot in the door and if company's can't even afford who they already have. I am fucking terrified to graduate and enter this shitty economy. How am I ever going to find  job with such a useless major? I should have gone into the sciences, why the hell am I so shitty at math. Less cash=less people buying shit=less extra money for advertising=every media medium in the shitter. Fuck this. McDonald's here I come.

Another fact. solo shot now has a stache. i need to get some new pics. that is all.

hahaha

fact. in a mad rush not to miss the jonas brothers perform during the lighting of the tree, i ran into a wall. it really hurt. what hurt even more was the crashing blow of my dignity. ah, who am i kidding. i lost that a long time ago. i don't like myself.

more b. spears love

fact. britney spears' concert dates are announced and she is coming to mohegan sun on march 26th. just in time for my birthday. the tickets are a little $$$ but happy birthday to meee!! so excited! i should rock my halloween costume.

...excuse me. I ALSO told you that you looked very skinny today and that if life is going to suck, at least you'll look good. Does that mean nothing to you?

PS I want my fucking 80s clothes back biotch.

Reasons Why I'm Awesome

You know, I was feeling down about myself today, and am posting from the library. I have only been to the library twice all semester, so this is kind of monumental. I'm here because I talked to my friend from highschool today who goes to school in DC and her shit is so together so i came to the library to pretend to do work/try to score some concerta or adderoll from some friends. Anyways, over dinner today I was whamming to durkin about how much i suck. The conversation went as follows:

Areas of my life that are going well:
1. School- Nope, it is a hot mess. I am taking the jokiest classes on campus, one in particular being called "propaganda in cinema". I cheated on the midterm using an SAE (frat) bluebook from last semester, and somehow realized 15 minutes before the test that the said bluebook's essay was word for word copied from wikipedia. at this point, what can you do but laugh? i pulled off a c+ but jerome dyson got an A. wohoo, i'm officially more dumb than the uconn basketball team. go me. I also have my senior history thesis due at midnight. my professor told me it was such a rough draft that he wouldnt critique it, and its currently 10:24 and i'm blogging. that should give you an indication of how scholastic im being.
2. Family- Welp, that is not so great as well. My Dad calls me "paris hilton" and thinks that i will be "freeloading off of him until im 45". Which like, touche craig, you are right. stop giving me credit cards, and i'll stop maxing them out. I am also in trouble for being drunk on thanksgiving, which im sure you all read about in my previous entries. it's rough being a davis.
3. Future- This one stings the most. I have done no law school apps yet, I paid (aka my dad paid) 1,500 buckaroos for me to take kaplan LSAT class, I went to every class hungover (cool kaplan why would you schedule classes on sundays you dumb fucks) and am probably the first student in kaplan history to start off at a 157 and basically plateau off. most people i know started at like 140s and actually DID the course and went up. but no, im a huge asshole. I also have not gotten teacher recommendations yet, and the apps need to be in by christmas. fucking awesome.
4.Boys- this is actually laughable. I'm not going to go into it, but let's just say drunk texting the boy you have feelings for, when he has stopped responding since...october? is probably a bad idea. especially when he thinks you are a huge whore (rightfully so, as you made out with his best friends, in front of him, multiple times.) it is also bad when you lead on about half of the world. i am probably the only one of my friends who is still living the dream and completely drunk slutting it up. someeebodyyy stooppppp meeeee.
5. Finances- I have 15 dollars in my wallet. I just bounced a check for my cable bill. it was 16.93. I also thought that given my fabulous financial situation, it would be fine to pay for my friends bar covers on sunday night. yep, all three of them. what a baller. go out with me to the bars guys, i think im rich. i'm not.

As i told this to durks, she told me that "it's okay, you have great bangs and a really popular blog" aka, my roomate and claudia read it. cool. okay, well now that i feel wonderful about myself, i am going to go jump off the roof of homer babb. see ya never.

i'm baaAck

Sorry, I have been on slight hiatus, but I assure you that I am back in action. I have a 10 page paper to write, a review sheet and another paper... so obviously I am bumper stickering the SHIT out of people and blogging. Way to go. Question. Do people ACTUALLY send those overly cutesie bumper stickers to their significant other? Like really. They are so gay I would be horrified if I ever received one AND would have no dignity if I sent one. Even worse are the Twilight ones. Like cool vampire cult. Over it. Yes. Unfortunately I read the book out of sheer curiosity and I have no respect for anyone who finds it a quality piece of literature. It is written in an 8th grader's reading equivalency. I probably could have written something more intelligent. It is so fucking corny, beyond anything you would actually go, "aw that's so cute, I wish a boy would say that to me." If someone uttered, "you are my life now," I would immediately be creeped out and assume they are a loser... and possibly look into a restraining order. I automatically assume you are dumb, pathetic and have an affection for low art if you are one of those girls swooning for a love story between a 17 year old and a 90 year old 17 year old vampire. Ok, I am finished. This was just fresh in my mind because it became a conversation topic in my last class and I was -this- close to blowing my brains out. Ok. I'm finished.

Blogworthy occurrences. Let's see. Well this past weekend I went to Atlantic City. 

Upside: We got a free room in the Trump Plaza Hotel because someone had an uncle who was a high roller. Ballin'. I won $20 on the slot machines when I first sat down. We got in no cover in a club and danced to some sweet Jersey techno. 

Downside: I got really drunk and therefore spent money I DID NOT have. I should have gotten kicked out because I:

a. dropped my phone IN THE ROULETTE. Yes. In the spinner, while it was mid-spin. At 3 am. And tried to walk away in a "that wasn't me who just dropped my iphone in the roulette fucking up your chance to win" kind of way. Straight fool.

b. walked behind the dealer, which I had no idea was illegal. oops. I got bitched out for it and still didn't understand why.

Other downsides include that I only won one turn at roulette after playing way too many times not knowing what the fuck I was doing, my 

drink got knocked over said roulette table (not by me thank god because that probably would have been the last straw), sent an ungodly amount of like love professing texts AND, to top it all off, got stuck sleeping on the floor sharing one pillow and one blanket with a kid. Did I mention it was FUCKING FREEZING in the room. Overall, I'd have to say it was a fun experience.

We Christmatized our apartment last evening. It looks a little less Fraternity McDude's place than it did previously. That's all you can really ask for when you are placing green and red lights over a beautiful decor of a Keystone banner around your "kitchen."

Britney Spears is awesome. Buy her CD. Or illegally download it like I did. A week ago. This is my favorite song. It should probably be yours too. Today is her 27th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Yes, we are getting that fucking old that Britney is like legitimately an adult. Yikes.

Last but not least, my Chi is dead. FUCK Chi. I w

ill never buy their straightner again. They suck. This is the 2nd one to die on me in just over a year. Great waste of $150. I will learn to love my new hairstyle of uncontrollable curl and frizz. 

Peace out mutha fuckas. I will leave you with this, as it IS B. Spear's BDay. The Evolution of Britney Spears circa Halloween '07. I will NEVER go blonde.