coming back after a long hiatus

Well, I decided it was time to get it going back on blogging since the whole audience (read: claudia) probably thinks durkin is the only funny one in this operation. There is a lot to report so I will have a lot to blog about, including but not limited to sobfesting, screaming, and getting peed on (that is a story in itself..). But instead of talking about myself, i'm going to come back into the world of blogging by talking about our sole viewer: claudia. I've been best friends with balls as we call her (no idea why) since sophomore year. SHe is hilarious, an alcoholic, and a good friend, as all of my college friends are. But, she seems to get the most bizarre men EVER. it is a mystery amongst our friends as to where she finds these fellows. 

My personal favorite entails a man that we call "the graduate". "The graduate" was in claudia's accounting group junior year, and for some odd reason in true claudia fashion he decided to creep the fuck out of her. Texting included "i just wanna fuck you, can i be any more clear?", "i told you i want you. we are clearly bad together and i dig it", and the gem "i wanna eat your box".  

Literally everyone claudia meets decides to text her inappropriately, or say inappropriate things to her. on spring weekend claudia made out twice with this kid called "hammered" by his own friends. (claudia in retrospect sorry i completely and utterly perpetuated that one) after making out twice, claudia decided to sensually sit on his lap whilst he was perched in our friend marty's chair. as she was sitting they both fell, and the chair broke. so romantic. he also kept telling her "baby i want to rail you" and "youre my girl baby and im lovin it". sure guy, i guess she is your girl after two post pass out, blackout makeout sessions. 

I'm sure there are more claudia stories but like i said i am just getting back into the swing of blogging and need to rebuild my funniness. more to come later