irish i remembered my st patrick's day

I was just scanning the blog and saw that durks gave a mini report of her st patricks day. in many forums durks has me beat on the Richter  Scale of Drunken Antics, but this might be one of the few times that i've got her beat. St patricks day has literally been my favorite holiday ever since i picked up a beer at age 12. kidding, it was more like 14. anyways, i always end up being a mess, not making it out, punching things, and puking up green. This one was probably my most disastrous one yet as i was finally legal to drink this year.

So my roomate jenn, durks and i decided to completely blow off classes even though i had four since it was a tuesday, and we went to the bar for 11am. we were literally the only ones in teds, which is saying something as it is truely the haven for alcoholics in the greater storrs area. we started things off right with multiple bud light bottles, and i was tanked by 2 when i HAD to leave to go to my writing class as i had gotten an F on a paper two weeks before for fucking with the margins and getting caught. so middle school kel. anyways, i go to class wasted, sit down next to my friends who are disapproving and judgey, and drunk tap my foot in frustration for about 45 minutes. i then get up to go to the bathroom and realize that i am still wearing my sparkling shamrock necklace, which incites my professor to stop lecturing and comment about. way to draw attention to myself. i then scurry to the library to print out a paper that i am supposed to hand in for my 4 oclock class which i decided to skip. i am drunk in the library, FINALLY figure out how to use the printer, and go put it in my professor's mailbox along with a bogus letter crying about how i had a final later tht night and needed the class time to study. such a blatant lie. so i go do that and then go back to the library to get my friend sammy who i had convinced to come to the bar with me. walking back in, i stumble RIGHT into my professor who i had just lied and handed in a paper to. she actually knows my name because i literally sit through the class sighing and being a rude judy. so there i am, in full our st patricks day regalia,noticeably wasted, while she asks me if i am coming to class. i say no, and incoherently walk away. no wonder i have a D in women's studies. 

so i grab sammy and off we skip to the wonderful institution known as ted's restaurant and bar. immediately upon entering sammy buys me two irish car bombs, and i completely slaughter him in the chugging arena, which is probably a bad thing because i am a girl who is already wasted. fail. this is where things start to get hazy. i go back to durks and jenn, who hadnt left the bar, and who were now hanging out with the track team playing quarters. dont ask me how that started, i have no idea still. so i join in and then low and behold sammy comes over with two of his friends who i vaguely recognize from panama city. i of course yell this immediately and make them drink with me. durks and jenn and the rest of my crew decide to leave the bar, and in true to kelly fashion i decide that i am cool enough to stay alone and make new friends because teds is way better than thirsty. whenever i am drunk i literally get a huge ego boost and think i am gods gift to earth. and proceed to tell the world that i think this. so my friends leave, i end up in willi oaks with sammy and the two panama boys. we went for dinner but i dont think we ate... and i ended up back at teds. i dont remember how, or why, i just didnt go meet up with my friends. the world will never know. so cut to me ending up in my bed, with a panama boy, who ended up peeing the bed. on me. let me tell you, that is the worst thing one can ever be woken up to. i really dont know how to rap this up because i feel like that is an end in itself.