Stories that must be shared: The Time I Got Arrested

Note before reading: I am aware that I am a total idiot.

It was a very innocent Friday morning. I woke up, slightly hung over post nickel night, and went to Bagels and More. Me and Alexa went to the package store, only purchasing 2 strawberry Andres for some leisurely day drinking because it was beautiful out. All day, however, we were trying to decide if a Boone's Day would be called because it was the first sunny day over 70˚ for sure. Boone's Day, for those who don't know, is the first day of Spring where the temperature hits above 70˚. The oldest member of Sig Ep calls it and with an hour warning, you are supposed to drop everything and drink.

Only bringing one Andre along, we decided to walk to red house because we knew there would be no where to park. Step one of my demise. We get to red h

ouse, enjoying the warm weather and music and taking it easy, especially because I was still pretty hung over. And then I don't know, at some point, whether out of complete boredom, or the fact that I really didn't know that many people anymore, I decided to step it up a notch and drink the beverage at the party: Boone's Farms spiked with Dubra (because the wine is only about 4% alcohol). Cut to me and Alexa serenading the entire party with a lovely rendition of Everlong and screaming the harmonies to Africa. I guess at some point we decided to leave, I was pretty gone by this point, lugging a Blue Hawaiian for the road.

On the walk home, taking the fantastically constructed "side walk" that the town so kindly built, I stumbled (literally) on a GIANT diamond shaped orange road sign meant for construction knocked on the ground. This thing was bigger than me and heavy as hell. OBVIOUSLY I had to have it. So I decide to lug this huge sign all the way home with me, while walking along the street, with cops everywhere. To provide an image of how far I carried this huge fucking thing I've provided a map:

Quite far.

So I carry it and finally arrive at Celeron, where I live. This part is all really hazy because I was so drunk that I really didn't understand what was going on. So I remember hearing someone yell "there's cops" and I thought this meant that there were cops just around I guess, so instinctively, I began to run... still carrying this fucking thing. Mind you, it is about 7 pm so it is still pretty light out and it was warm so people were everywhere. I guess the cop was chasing behind me yelling "stop running" and "are you really going to make me chase you," but I really have no actual memory of this. I think I dropped the sign and kept running for my apartment when I get body slammed into the side of my building. I seriously didn't connect that the cop was chasing me with the reason I was running, which I know makes no sense.

So I get slammed against the apartment and the cop starts reading me my rights, which at this point now I am pissed, I started yelling them back at him going "yea yea I know, I have the right to remain silent, I have the right to an attorney. bla bla I am a political science major ok!" How did I think acting like this was going to help me not get arrested. So I start sobbing uncontrollably for years and when the cop goes to put me in his car, I request that he "take off my sunglasses and take good care of them because they are new and expensive." I drunk chatted him the entire way to the station to which he asked if I was always this talkative. Also over the radio I heard him state that the "female with her was just as heavily intoxicated." When we got to the police station I got mug shots and finger printed. Crying the whole time and then when he went to take the picture I smiled. When he said "why are you smiling this is a mug shot?" I said that well if I was going to be a convict and get a mug shot I might as well look good. What is wrong with me?? Other gems from this entire occurrence of being booked included:

- the cop asking me if I was bi-polar because one minute I was crying hysterically saying I was sorry and the next minute I was insulting and yelling at him and then apologizing profusely.

- asking the chief, "like no offense, but honesty, aren't there bigger crimes to be dealing with than some stupid drunk girl who stole a sign?" (this would be an example of my bipolarness I assume)

- asking to use the bathroom and being told that I really don't want to because there are no public bathrooms so I'll have to go to a cell, can't I wait. I responded saying, "ok since I'm not fooling anyone, I've been drinking all day long, so I really need to go. Cut to me "hovering" over the cell toilet. I was only in a jail cell for a hot minute and I never want to return to one.

I finally got released and came back to my apartment and kicked a trash can and then cried some more. I was also still so drunk that I stumbled in and fell on someone. Usually when you get drunk and something really serious happens, you are able to pull it together and act sober for the time being. That moment... never happened. I was so drunk that I was still in and out of black out after leaving the station... I don't even remember everything, what I've written above is pretty much all that I can remember because they were so special, so there's probably a lot of other ridiculous shit I did/say.

Overall, some calls were made in my favor... thank god... and I got off with 15 hours of community service and having to go to an alcohol evaluation. It will be wiped from my record next wednesday.